A Frenchman, a German, and a Jew walk into a bar.
The Frenchman says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have wine."
The German says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have beer."
The Jew says, "I'm tired and thirsty. I must have diabetes."
Here's another one:
AS OLD AS SHE FEELS
A reporter is interviewing Mrs. Adler, mother of the renowned Stella Adler.
The reporter: "You look so young. How old are you?"
"I am 48," Mrs. Adler says.
"But Mrs. Adler, your daughter Stella is 52. How can this be?"
"Well," says Mrs. Adler, "She leads her life. I lead mine."